


College Daze

by MultiVerSonalityDisorder



Category: Tucker and Dale vs Evil
Genre: College, College Daze, Comedy, Crime, F/M, Faked Suicide, Horror, Humor, Misunderstandings, Murder, Post-Film, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-14 22:53:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3428543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MultiVerSonalityDisorder/pseuds/MultiVerSonalityDisorder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tucker and Dale thought they didn't have to worry about anymore college kids.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Calling

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm going to try my hand at a Tucker and Dale vs Evil fanfiction! Please keep me in line! I own nothing but the college folks!

In a handsomely rugged stone cottage within West Virginia, near the Appalachian Mountains, there was nothing but peace. The furniture was solid, the kitchen remarkably clean, and the setting of the home allowed the soft sunlight to shine through. Yes, this was a peaceful land with a nice lake within a mile to fish in, and the trees corralled a beautiful breeze. It was a calming and serene little home. Until…

“You’ve gotta be shittin’ me, Dale.”

As the two men were seated at the table for their burly breakfast of bacon, ham, toast, and eggs; with some fried potato cubes on the side; Tucker was staring his best friend down with an unpleasant gleam in his eyes, chewing his food with his mouth partially open. Dale tried to smile as he downed a glass of milk, chasing down the carbs that were hitting his stomach and filling it fast. A beloved canine under the table and keeping an eye out for scraps to fall from the heavens.

“C’mon, Tuck,” he urged, wiping his sleeve against his upper lip. “Allie says it’ll be fun, and it’s just for a week until her graduation.”

“No, Dale,” a fork with some egg hanging for dear life pointed in the rounder man’s direction. “I ain’t gonna busy myself around some college kids. I had enough of ‘em, hear me?”

Sighing reluctantly, Dale stretched a hand over the table; in turn causing Tucker’s fork to back away, and soon find his mouth; and urged, “Y’know it’d make her happy. She loves you, Tucker! If you weren’t there to see her get her diploma, it’d just break her heart.”

“ _You’re_  the boyfriend, I ain’t,” the ginger tinted blonde took a bite out of a folded half piece of toast with bacon and egg; the yolk drizzling out the side and onto his chin. “I don’t gotta be there.” His words were muffled by the food in his mouth as he searched for a napkin to catch the golden river slipping through the thin hairs of his beard, but he continued forth, “I’ll send you up with a card and I’ll see her afterwards.” Dale handed him a piece of paper towel that was bunched under the plate of potatoes. Taking it with a nod of thanks, he wiped his mouth, ignoring some of the yolk slipping down his wrist and forearm, “‘sides, what do you expect me to do up there? Knit?”

“Well, that’s the thing,” Dale squirmed a little and Tucker rose a wary brow at his friend’s joyous mood. “Y’see, while we’re up there, there’s this program where we can try out some classes, and-”

“No! N. O. NO!” Tucker shoveled some ham and potatoes into his mouth as if to make his final point.

“Oh, c’mon, Tuck! It could be fun! They’re just trial courses! We don’t even gotta stick wit’ em!” Earning a glare of warning, Dale sat back in his chair with a  huff, “It’s been almost a little over two and half years since that whole mess with the summer home, and you’re still gonna act like that?”

“Dale,” Tucker shook his head before grabbing his glass of juice, throwing his head back and downing half the glass. ”Dale,” he gasped, beating his chest once to clear anything that might have gotten a little stuck on the way down, “there’s a reason we didn’t go to college. ‘sides the whole money issue, we just ain’t the college types. High school is good enough. We did just fine there. It’d be a waste of our time.”

Dale sat silent, knee waving side to side in thought, but Tucker focused once more on finishing his meal; content with the lack of a comeback his friend had.

The rest of breakfast continued on, thus. The two men cleaned up their plates, saving any scarce leftovers for later (maybe a salad for dinner, Tucker thought aloud with a serious hum in his throat), and Tucker washed as Dale dried. Tucker took to a magazine to finally start enjoying his day off, and Dale went elsewhere, leaving the other to wonder only a tad before focusing on his task at hand; what new tricks in bed would Cosmo share with him today?

It was almost around noon when Tucker awoke on the couch, unexpectedly having fallen asleep with the magazine atop his chest. He looked around, eyes half-lidded as he wiped the drool from his chin, “Dale?” He called out, but there was no answer. “Dale!” He waited, but still no answer. He grumbled a curse, pulling himself up and off the couch with a huff, the magazine hitting the floor and Tucker didn’t even dare to care as he walked over towards the stairs that led to the second floor where their beds waited. “Hey, Dale!” he bellowed at the foot of the steps, scratching at his scalp in wonder and confusion. It was a no brainer that the two didn’t have to do everything together, especially on their days off, but Dale would usually at least let him know if he was gonna go run off somewhere.

However, just as he was about to give another call, stepping onto the first two steps, Dale appeared at the top, phone in hand, “Yeah, Tuck?”

Tucker involuntarily jumped at the sight of his friend and call of his name. His head hung as he hunched a bit, catching his breath from being startled, “Damn it, Dale,” he shook his head, glaring up at the other man. “Who the hell you talkin’ to?”

Dale rose a brow before appearing as if realization dawned on him. He trotted down the stairs, humming an affirmative grunt before he handed the phone to Tucker. The more trim of the two looked to the other quizzically, hesitant to take hold of the phone, but when Dale gestured it in his direction once more, Tucker’s hand slipped about it slowly before placing it against his ear, “Hello?”

“Tucker! I heard from Dale! I’m so glad that you agreed to come up! You have no idea how much this means to me to have both of you up here.”

It was Allie. Tucker turned narrowed eyes in Dale’s direction, fist quivering to punch something as he silently mouthed the words “You little dickhead”. Dale attempted to not release a single chuckle as Tucker cleared his throat, “Er, yeah, ‘f course I’m comin’. Wouldn’t miss it fer the world.”

“That’s such a relief! You won’t have to worry about making any reservations at a hotel or anything like that, either! The dean has it set up so that a portion of the dorms are saved for family members and anyone who can attend for the graduation ceremony.”

A forced grin found its way to his lips, feeling obligated to despite the fact that the young woman was not in his presence. His voice strained as he replied with, “Sounds amazin.”

“And, I’m so proud of you for agreeing to take those trial courses!”

“Wha-?!” He stilled, eyes wide and red in Dale’s direction. He inhaled deeply, trying not to lose himself as he heard her voice in his ear.

“Tucker…? Is there something…wrong?”

He cleared his throat, gesturing a threat towards his friend who was slowly creeping backwards up the stairs, keeping eyes down on the ginger-tinted blonde for his safety. “No,” the taller man’s throat constricted a bit at the lie. “Just…excited…yay.”

“Oh! Great! Then, may I speak with Dale, again?”

“Sorry, Allie, but he’s stuck himself on the shitter,” Dale’s feet began to fly, thumping against the wooden steps at that sentence. “I’ll have him call ya back.” Before she could reply, Tucker hung up and began his ascending dash, shouting from the top of his lungs, “What in Heaven’s name did you do, you little shit?!”

 

The poor old rusted truck putted its way onto campus of the well-to-do university in which Allie studied her business of the human mind. There were students crossing the large yards and one could see the track team trotting on the edge of campus. It took Tucker nearly fifteen minutes after arrival to find the visitors’ parking, and even after that it was very difficult to find the office.

Tucker removed his hat, rubbing at his scalp as he ignored a few stares from silent freshman passersby. “What kind of manmade labyrinth is this?”

“We just gotta ask if we’re lost, Tuck,” Dale insisted, then flinched at the raised hand of his friend.

“Ain’t no how is we gonna ask fer directions. Understand?” He adjusted his cap. “Besides, I can feel we’re close.”

Dale sighed, “If you’re sure, Tucker.”

“I am,” he straightened his back and continued forth under a stone bridge that connected two wings of the building. “I still can  _not_  believe that you went ahead and decided this all on yer own.”

“Come on. Ain’t life about experiences? And, what would I say to Allie if I came here by myself?”

“That I’ve got my own work to do,” Tucker huffed.

Again, Dale heaved a sigh, only heavier. “Okay, Tuck, then at least let this be a favor to me? We’ve been through a lot since we was kids, right?”

“So? You want me to walk you down the aisle, too?”

Dale froze at the thought before hurrying behind to shadow the trimmer male, “Well, ya know you’d be my first pick for the best man.” He was given a warning glare.

“Knock off the bullshit.”

“Tucker, y’see, I really wanted to try out these classes!” He reached to the right side of his friend, looking up a bit, “I really did,” his voice was softer in sincerity, and Tucker began to slow down his passionate pace. “I’ve felt stupid all my life. Allie and you…help me feel a bit better, but I wanted to try it out with these college kids while I had the chance and…” he glanced down, then up to meet Tucker’s blue orbs, “I was scared to do it by myself.”

The blonde gave a dry chuckle, “So, you wanted to drag me into the embarrassment, too, huh?”

“But, you’d be good at it, Tuck! You’re smart! A smooth talker! You’ll probably be top of the class!” Dale gave a smack to Tucker’s back, “You were unbeatable in high school!”

Tucker went rigid, straightening his shoulders and clearing his throat, “Yeah, well, like I’ve said before, college is a whole different level.”

“You just gotta put yer mind to it! I will, too! It’s only for a week!”

“Right, a week…”

 

After a near hour, collectively, of looking for the front office, Tucker and Dale found themselves to have gone in a circle with luck. Had they gone right instead of left off of the parking lot, they would have been to their destination fifty minutes sooner. Tucker could already tell that this was going to be a pleasant event.

All in all, upon their arrival was Allie who was chatting with the clerk at the desk. She looked over her shoulder, beaming a bright smile before she hurried over and wrapped her arms about Dale, lips meeting with quiet chuckles. Tucker glanced to the side, feeling a bit awkward at the display; though happy for his friend for being able to achieve a long-term girlfriend, it was difficult whenever the two were reunited.

“I expected you two to be here an hour ago!” Allie voiced, trying not to smile as she pulled back, but kept her hands within Dale’s larger ones. “What happened?”

Dale looked to Tucker, who shrugged, before back to his love, “We got a little lost on the way. This is a big place you have here.”

Bright eyes looked to Tucker, then back to the man they adored, “Yeah, it took me almost a year before I could trust myself to get to class without a map.”

“Yeah, well,” Tucker stepped in, hands in the pockets of his overalls, “where’s the room? I don’t want my things to be out in my truck for long.”

“Oh!” Her brows rose before scrunching up, her mouth twisting. “About that…”

Tucker didn’t like that. At all. “What  _about_ it?”

“Well,” her eyes shifted from him to Dale, then back to Tucker, “there was an issue with the housing.”

The slim man had to inhale deeply, his jaw setting. It was one thing after another and he’d be damned to not just walk out that door, hop in his truck with or without Dale and head back home. “What  _kind_ of  _issue_?”

Allison winced, “There aren’t any more rooms?”

Tucker groaned, removing his hat and scratching at his scalp as he did a one-eighty. Dale was flabbergasted as he spoke, “But, you said-“

“I know! So, I was talking with Clarice,” she looked to the clerk who waved with a petite smile. “And, she said the dean could spare a room!”

Dale, along with Tucker, looked over to Clarice who was a long-haired, curled brunette of late twenties, perhaps. She wore glasses, small and round, but perfect on her tiny face and upon the bridge of her pointed nose. Her eyes were centered, a bit on the dark side of the green spectrum, like an olive. A carmine button up with a stiff collar decorated her torso and collar bone, while a bean shaded cardigan wrapped about her shoulder and arms over-top.

Tucker continued to grimace as Dale twiddled his fingers in greeting. The heftier man looked back to his girlfriend, confused, “Well, then, that’s good news!”

“It is! But…”

“But  _what_?” Tucker was antsy. He didn’t like this hesitant way of talking that Allison was doing. He just wanted to rest himself and get this damnable week over with.

“Don’t set your expectations too high for this room…”

**-**


	2. Oh, For Heaven's Sake!

“Well, here you are,” Allison’s tone was stuck between reluctant and obliged excitement as her hands flew out as if to display the sight before them. It was a small rundown pitiful shack. The wood was rotting, the only window was covered in dust, and the tin of the roof was rusted in one of the most extreme degrees that Tucker had ever seen.

“What in the hell?” Tucker gaped as he removed his cap and scratched at his scalp.

“Clarice said there was a bed inside,” Allison pushed. “It used to be what the janitor would use if he stayed overnight back in the school’s earlier decades. It’s not really used for much anymore.”

Seeming completely flabbergasted, Tucker looked to her with agitated brows, “You said _a_ bed? One? Uno? Only _a_ bed?”

Biting her lower lip, Allison replied, “I did ask Clarice if there was a spare futon or something that we could put in it.”

“And?!”

“Hey, Tuck,” Dale placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder, but Tucker pulled away; obviously upset by this whole ordeal. “Don’t go gettin’ mad at Allie. S’not her fault the school doesn’t have everything it promised. She’s tryin’ her best, right?” He looked to his girlfriend who nodded timidly.

“Dale, I’m not mad,” he growled, “I’m livid. I’m pissed. We came all the way here, 'n for a whole damn week we have to risk our lives in this tin-can! No! No way! I’m outta here! I didn’t sign up for this, amigo!”

Allison tried to speak, but Dale intervened. He firmly took hold of Tucker’s shoulders and looked his friend in the eyes, “Tucker, buddy, please. Let’s just get settled in ‘n talk ‘bout this? I understand why you’re upset. I totally get it. But, let’s talk ‘bout, all right? B’fore you go off ‘n start ravin’ like a lunatic.” Dale gave a guilty smile, “Didn’t we both come ‘ere to give Allie our best support?”

At this, Tucker wanted to shout that he, in fact, did not want to be anywhere near this damnable school. However, when he looked over to the young woman, he felt a pang in his chest. It wasn’t her fault that Dale decided to set this up. She was as innocent as Tucker was, himself. So, he bit back his words, trying to calm his temper as he resolved to having it out with his friend later in private.

Shrugging Dale off, once more, Tucker took a step back, replacing his cap upon his head, and sighed, “Sorry, ‘bout that. I’ll just…go bring the truck 'round with our stuff.”

Remaining silent, Allison was noticeably uneasy as she watched Tucker make his way across the parking lot to fetch his and Dale’s personal belongings. She looked to her boyfriend who smiled comfortingly at her before wrapping his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close and placing a kiss upon her head.

“Don’t worry. We’ll be fine. This’ll all work out without a hitch.”

**To Be Continued...**


End file.
